“Everything happens for a reason.”
“When the going gets tough, the tough get going”
We have all heard one of these encouraging words at some point in life, when things weren’t panning out as we hoped, right? The unfortunate truth is, that it pushes and suppresses the negative emotions we are feeling in that exact moment and that ladies and gents causes more harm than good. It gives birth to TOXIC POSITIVITY.
All in the name of positive vibes, we put our focus on positive emotions and positive emotions ONLY, disregarding any other emotions. Pretty extreme, no? As part of adulting in workplaces, you are expected to repress your feelings for the sake of putting on a good face when frankly your personal life could be in ABSOLUTE SHAMBLES. The pressure of this often backfires making people feel pessimistic and demotivated. It’s a dead end!
Take a minute and question yourself whether you tend to feel or possess these traits to determine if you are giving in to toxic positivity.
1. Masking your TRUE feelings
An act of concealing your genuine feelings and thoughts from others by putting on a facade! When in reality you are REACHING to meet social expectations and you fear being judged. This only fuels inner conflict and hinders self-expression. Conceal, don’t feel by Frozen doesn’t apply here bestie.
2. Feeling guilt > VALIDATING your emotions
Here’s when an internal struggle comes into the picture because you chastise yourself for experiencing certain emotions. “Oh, I shouldn’t feel this upset, some people have it worse than me. I need to get over it!” If this narrative has played in your mind before, you are emotionally taxing yourself out, ultimately leading to detrimental effects on your mental health. Let’s try and avoid that, shall we?
3. Minimizing your own experiences or projecting them onto others with “feel-good” quotes
Hate to break it to you but “Everything is all g!” isn’t gonna cut it on some days. Somedays it’s harder to see through the grey clouds, it isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. A healthy balance between FEELING your emotions and having empathy towards others' experiences is a better approach to all the challenges life throws in your direction.
4. Feeling ashamed of negative emotions
It’s time to start normalising feeling negative, crying it out, having a terrible day, and not feeling your best. It’s healthier to acknowledge, accept, and process these emotions to harness personal growth and resilience. Last we checked, negative emotions are a NATURAL response to the ups and downs of life. Wanna cry it out? Here are some tissues for you!
We are sure that having a positive outlook on life makes up for the part that isn’t so beautiful and cheery BUT if you recognise yourself as a transmitter of toxic positivity, it’s time to CUT IT OUT!
A balanced and accepting mindset toward ALL your emotions is superior compared to an all-or-nothing approach but most importantly, FEEL all your emotions and IT IS A-OK, to feel sad, angry, disappointed, and agitated.